So, I FINALLY stopped bleeding this past weekend. What a relief that is. I bled for over 2 weeks and hated every day equally. It's hard to look forward to the next step in this process when you have the constant reminder of a miscarriage happening. Last week was probably the worst week in a long time since Nathan passed and I'm glad last week is finally over. It also helps having Chris home again!
We were in Pittsburgh again this weekend for a friend's wedding. Leading up to the wedding, I kept going back and forth on whether I was looking forward to it or dreading it. Sadly, that's how a lot of things are these days. Sometimes it's hard to see people so happy while I secretly mourn. The weekend turned out to be fantastic. I love that all of Chris's friends married (or will be marrying) such great girls that have become great friends as well. A lot of people were interested in talking about Nathan, too, which always makes Chris and I feel better. Maybe he won't be forgotten? All in all, it was good to see everyone, I ate too much and drank too much, but everyone needs a weekend like that every once in a while.
I have officially started the countdown to when we can start our next cycle to try to give Nathan a little brother or sister. I'm getting anxious and letting bad thoughts creep into my head about us not having a chance this upcoming time since we've had some sort of success with all our other tries. I need to remember that every try is individual and doesn't have an impact on any other attempts.
Love you baby Nate.
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