Today marks 5 weeks for me and means I'm one week closer to having a successful pregnancy. I don't find myself getting attached to this pregnancy yet and I think it will be hard for me until we see a heart beating. We have 14 days until our ultrasound and it seems like an eternity. I am setting little milestones, though, which helps pass the time. This past Sunday would have been the same day that I started my spotting with Nathan so it felt good to get through that day without any spotting. I'm sure I spotted with him at that time because I was still on 2 progesterone suppositories a day, which I think irritated my cervix. I am already down to 1 progesterone suppository so I think that may help with me not spotting. Knock on wood. My next milestone will be Thursday. Last cycle, on Thursday, was when I started bleeding and was the beginning of my 1.5 week long miscarriage. If I can get through Thursday with no bleeding, I will feel a little bit better. It might seem strange that I'm setting such tiny goals for myself, but it's doing things like this that will help me get through each day. When you've suffered a miscarriage and stillbirth, you'll do whatever you have to do to get through a pregnancy without going insane or having to be institutionalized (which could still very well happen).
As for symptoms, they come and go at this point. They are:
- Random nausea - I have it more this time around then I had with Nathan, but most of the time it happens when I'm hot or hungry. It was also winter/spring during my first trimester with Nathan and it is now summer so the heat may not help.
- Sore chest - again, this just happens randomly.
- Tired - this may be due to the fact that I was sleeping about 4 hours a night for a week and a half worrying about my blood test, but I'm making up for it now. Last night I was in bed at 8 and I had every intention of watching The Bachelorette, but fell asleep by 8:30.
Love you, baby boy.
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