So I do run into the uncomfortable situation here and there when it comes to losing Nathan. I've had two in the past week that I haven't reacted well to and I'm not sure if it was just because of the progesterone I'm on or something else.
The first time was when I was out to a business lunch with some bankers. The one guy kept proclaiming that if his phone rang and it was his wife, that he was packing up and heading back to Louisville because she was 38 weeks pregnant. Then, he and one of my coworkers kept comparing their wives' pregnancies while I sat there awkwardly. Obviously, the guy had no idea what had happened to me so I shouldn't be surprised that it happened. It just made me really uncomfortable for the remainder of the day.
The second time was yesterday at our staff meeting. My coworker's wife is 38 weeks pregnant and everybody was talking about how exciting it was that she was getting so close. Again, SUPER uncomfortable. I know one person noticed my discomfort and tried to change the conversation and for that I'm thankful. Unfortunately, they did not change the topic and kept talking about it. I was thrilled when we were dismissed so I could go collect myself in the bathroom. I don't expect others to avoid those conversations, I just wish I could hide my emotions better during those conversations.
In other news, tomorrow is my first beta. Tomorrow will determine if I'm officially pregnant again or not. I am beyond nervous. My appointment is at 8:30 tomorrow morning but I won't get a call until late afternoon. I'm sure I'll be real productive at work during the wait.
Miss you, buddy.
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