Hands

Hands

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Thursday, July 16, 2015

Busy Busy

Things have been so hectic and busy this summer and the rest of the summer will be pretty much be the same.  In the next 8 weeks, we have a friend's wedding here in Cincinnati, my sister-in-law's bridal shower and bachelorette party in Pittsburgh, a friend's bachelorette party in Chicago, a soccer tournament here in Cincinnati, a week long vacation in the Outer Banks with some friends, and then wedding festivities for my sister-in-law in Pittsburgh to round out those 8 weeks.  Throw in a lot of traveling for Chris for work and soccer practices starting up for me and there goes the rest of our summer.

One thing that has kept me motivated during this busy summer is working out freely again.  This is the first summer in 3 years in which I haven't been pregnant.  Since I stopped breastfeeding, I have lost the rest of the baby weight and I'm now even under my pre-IVF weight from almost 3 years ago.  I'm a few pounds shy of my wedding weight, but will try to stay slightly above it in preparation for our next round of IVF (whenever that may be).  I get up at 4:30am every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday and get my strength workouts in at a local bootcamp, which I absolutely love. I've met a lot of great ladies there and it's nice to be around others who work so hard to maintain their fitness.  On the other days, I either get up before work and run on the treadmill or stick T.J. in the BOB for a run at the park.

Speaking of T.J., he turns 6 months in 3 days!  Where has the time gone? I'll admit my emotions were all over the place, especially with his reflux, the first 8-10 weeks of his life, but I am enjoying EVERY second of time with him.  He is the nosiest, most stubborn, and most muscular little boy that I have met.  It's a battle to give him a bottle right now because he is always turning every which direction, trying to sit up while taking his bottle, and manhandling me.  My cousin, who watches him twice a week (and a bunch of other times as well - thanks, Katie!), had bruises from T.J.'s toes on her thighs one day from him jumping against her.  He's taken an interest in annoying Sidney lately and is always looking to grab whatever is in his reach.  I'll be interested to see how much he weighs at his 6 month appointment next week, but I weighed him about 5 weeks ago and he was over 18.5 lbs.  He wears some 9 month clothes and some 12 month stuff as well.  He is absolutely perfect to both Chris and I.  Did I mention he sleeps from 8-9 at night to 7 in the morning? I'm definitely thankful for that.





Friday, July 10, 2015

A Little Eerie to be Honest (21 months for Nathan)

Although we now have TJ here with us, I still feel the same as I did after losing Nathan:

- Hearing about people getting pregnant easily irritates me
- Hearing about successful births irritate me (how ugly is this feeling?  I hate it.)
- Hearing about minute pregnancy issues irritates me

I hate feeling this way, just like I did prior to having TJ.  Although these feelings have become easier to manage, they're still there, just not as prominent as before.

Lately, I've had the strong urge to have another baby right NOW. It's crazy, but with my problem that leads us to having to use IVF to get pregnant, time is not on our side. It's been weighing on my mind a lot lately, and I saw this blog post this morning that describes it PERFECTLY.  I felt like I was reading my diary as I read the post.  It sucks that she's in the same predicament as me, but it's comforting to know what I'm feeling is normal.

http://stillstandingmag.com/2015/07/just-want-secondary-infertility-stillbirth/

Happy 21 (say what?!) months to our baby boy in Heaven! We miss you and love you with everything we have. Continue to fly high.