Homesick

I'm feeling especially homesick today.  I don't know if it's the ugly weather or the fact that it's a Monday, but I just can't shake this anxious feeling.

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

My mother in law keeps asking what I want for Christmas.  The answer is nothing.  I don't want anything.  I just want what the picture above states.  I want my Nathan back.  In memory of Nate, we are going to pick a name from the Giving Tree at our church each year that has a boy who is a similar age as what Nathan would be at that time.  We chose a boy this year who need clothes ranging from 0-6 months.  I went out and bought them last weekend.  That was painful, but it didn't compare to the feeling I had when wrapping them yesterday.  I shouldn't have to wrap them.  I should be able to wash them and dress my son in them.  It comforts me knowing that a little boy will be getting this clothes this Christmas, though.  I think Nathan would want that.

Love you, buddy.